50 Women Over 50

Over 50 and Getting a Divorce

Episode Summary

Radio and TV personality Candace Sampson explains how her four-year divorce ordeal actually turned out to be a bit of a blessing as a journey of self discovery and personal growth.

Episode Notes

Host Sherrilynne Starkie welcomes radio and TV personality Candace Sampson to episode 16 of the 50 Women Over 50 podcast

Candace entered her fifties as she was going through a divorce of epic proportion which left her living in rented accommodation with her two teenage daughters and feeling she had very little autonomy over her own life.  She felt sad and angry. And yet, she has come through it all feeling quietly confident.She’s found an inner calmness and happiness and she knows that she’s prepared for whatever life might throw at her. 

“I’m enjoying this time of life. It's quiet. It's peaceful. I don't need a lot right now,” explains Candace. “I'm really happy. I've come through a lot, and I feel prepared for whatever life might throw at me down the road.”

In this interview, Candace explains how the four-year divorce ordeal actually turned out to be a bit of a blessing as a journey of self discovery and personal growth. She’s loving her life these days and has nothing but optimism for her future. 

Listen here: 

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About Candace Sampson: 

Radio and TV personality Candace Sampson has been advocating for and representing women across Canada for over a decade sharing her self-deprecating humour on Canada’s popular YMC, her passion for travel and food on her website, Life in Pleasantville, and as a TV and radio personality. She’s the host of the weekly talk radio show and podcast What She Said where she aims to inspire and uplift women. 

Resources & Contact Information: 

About the 50 Women Over 50 Podcast: 

Sherrilynne Starkie started this show as a creative project with the goal of interviewing 50 women past their 50th birthday to learn how they see the world, what lessons they’ve learned and what advice they have for us all. She’s been blogging and podcasting for 18+ years as part of a successful marketing and communications career and looks forward to learning from the women she will interview. Subscribe to 50 Women Over 50 wherever you get your podcasts and please share it with your friends. Get each weekly episode dropped into your inbox by subscribing here.

Episode Transcription

Machine Generated Transcript

What follows is a machine generated transcript. It may contain errors and is not a substitute for listening to the podcast.

50 Women Over 50 Podcast Episode 16

Hello, and welcome to episode 16 of 50 women over 50 a podcast for women whose personal confidence is born of experience. I'm your host, Sherrilynne Starkie. The objective for this podcast is to interview 50 women from all walks of life who are over 50 years of age, about what they've learned by their fifth decade, so that we can all learn from them. 

Today, I'm welcoming to the show, radio and TV personality, Candace Samson. Host of the What She Said radio program and podcast for women. Candace entered her fifties as she was going through a divorce of epic proportion. 

Which left her living in rented accommodation with her two teenage daughters and feeling that she had very little autonomy over her own life. She was sad and angry. But with a little help from her friends, she's come through it all feeling quietly confident. She's found an inner calmness and happiness, and she feels that she's prepared for whatever life may throw at her. In this interview, Candace explains how the four-year divorce ordeal actually turned out to be a bit of a blessing as a journey of self discovery and personal growth. She's loving her life these days and has nothing but optimism for the future. 

[00:01:17] Sherrilynne: Let's start with telling me about how you celebrated your 50th. 

[00:01:22] Candace: Oh my God. Did you ever pick a good one? On my 50th birthday, which should have been a time of major celebration, my ex-husband had me served with, papers from a lawyer. Oh, just to sour the day a bit.

And I was completely pulled into my own self-pity party and, was sad and wouldn't let anybody do anything for me, and I didn't want to see anybody and, just in a really dark, dark place. And I was sitting in the living room of this rental house I was living. I'm going to cry. I'm sitting in the living room of this rental house with, my daughters were downstairs and there was a knock on the door at midnight and two of my girlfriends had drove all the way from London, Ontario to Ottawa to surprise me and be with me on my 50th birthday, my daughters ushered them in the house, and I figured these were just my kids' friends coming in the house and I looked up and my girlfriends walked around the corner.

And I am telling you, you know that big ugly cry you do where you catch your breath and you go, yeah. And that's absolutely what I did. I completely broke down, man. Did I need those girls to walk in at that moment? And oh, I am just, I am so lucky to have the friends I do. But. That was how I celebrated my 50th.

My girlfriends just really rallied and showed up and it was incredible. And de despite the fact that I didn't get to do the big party I wanted and all those things, it was really quite special. 

[00:03:11] Sherrilynne: Sounds like, sounds like, you celebrated in the right way for the moment for where you were at that time.

[00:03:16] Candace: Yeah. And it's a really powerful reminder, to surround yourself with good people. I just, I'm very lucky that I have all these people who are willing to listen and rally around me.

[00:03:29] Sherrilynne: So, you said you were feeling really sad that day. Was your sadness, did it stem from the loss of the relationship with your husband or was it just the sadness that he would do this to you, and he would be, so malicious as to do it on your birthday or, or a bit of both? 

[00:03:48] Candace: Getting the letter from a lawyer at that point was expected.

And I mean, it didn't make the day easier, but it didn't make the day worse. It just was, oh yeah. Great. This is on brand? Kind of, yeah. Ok. But I think I was in a darker place because I was very, stifled at that point. And I had no autonomy over my own life and that was very frustrating for me to be caught in this system where I could not make a single move, because everybody else had control over my life.

My ex-husband who wouldn't participate in a divorce, the court system who wouldn't seemingly get their shit together to move on with things. It was a very frustrating place to be and for me. It just, it was hard and, my, my kids were struggling. I was struggling financially. I felt, despite the fact that I did have friends and I remain, I do have friends all the time, I felt lonely and, and sad and, and thought, what am I, where is this?

Where am I going to end up? So, it was a lot of unknowns at that point. 

[00:05:04] Sherrilynne: So, I guess in comparison to what was going on in your, in your life at that moment, the whole fear of going over the hill probably didn't even register with you, right.

[00:05:16] Candace: I don't know that it ever has. Okay. Because I don't really have a fear of aging. I think I get that from my mom. Who's always just taken it in stride as well. It's part of life. I don't relish it. I don't love the thought of it. We all mourn the passing of time, but I don't fear it either. So that wasn't really what was bothering me about turning 50. It was just the lack of control over my own life at that point. But 

[00:05:47] Sherrilynne: now, You've turned the corner on that, right? Oh, 

[00:05:50] Candace: Yeah, absolutely., it's been good. I can tell you this story from both sides.

I could paint this as a sad, sob story, or I could paint this as a real growth moment for me. And, and I choose the story. I choose the narrative, and I choose to tell it. Like this is a moment off great growth for me. I came through this very dark period, four years of just absolute garbage. I mean, it's, it's ridiculous when I think back on it, how crazy that time was, and now I just go, oh, like.

Look at what it's done to me. It could have hardened me. It softened me. It's made me way more empathetic to people, which I think is wonderful that I have this capacity now. I don't think I had it before. I always had empathy, but not to the level I do now makes me so much more understanding and I just feel like I’ve Grown into a better person.

And I keep saying this, like you have a decision to make and, and I've chosen better instead of bitter, and I, I maintain that. And so, yeah, I feel like I'm in a much better spot, than I was for sure, prior to my divorce, through my divorce and, and now I'm on this post divorce. 

[00:07:13] Sherrilynne: When you were 45 and you looked forward and said, where am I going to be in 10 years? How different is this picture?

[00:07:20] Candace: Well, I mean, obviously a lot's changed, but I think most surprising to me is I don't feel 50, and I'm sure you probably hear this a lot when you talk to people. Age is just a number. And there's so many things I find humor in about being this age that make me giggle, you know?

I live in this little, small community and we have a newsletter that goes out and they have this group called the Nifty 50 Senior club. And I'm like, come on guys, like we got to drop this. You do not step into being a senior in your fifties. That's ridiculous.

I was away, last weekend with my girlfriends and I look at videos and pictures and I crack up laughing because we still act like we're very much 16 and so. I just, I, I think I'm most surprised by the fact that I'm not this dowdy old woman that I thought I might be when I was in my twenties, perhaps, you know?

That I feel the same. I don't look the same, but I feel the same. 

[00:08:21] Sherrilynne: Yeah, I hear you on that. I remember when I was a young mother looking at my mom and her sisters and man, they were old, but they were, yeah, they were only 48. . . 

[00:08:34] Candace: Right. Like, I think we've really changed that narrative. I think it's great, that we're changing that narrative.

Yeah. 

[00:08:41] Sherrilynne: I think it's a lot different for us than it was for our mother's generations for like several reasons.

First of all, we don't smoke. Our cohort coming up just, we kind of looked at health in a different way and we've arrived at middle age in a better state of general health than previous generations 

[00:09:01] Candace: For sure.

And even myself, I mean, I am just always learning and I think there was this mindset that you've got to a certain age, and you could just stop, you could just slip into being old and Grumpy, maybe. And I don't feel that way and I'm still going, what am I going to do when I grow up?

If you're, if you're not growing, you're flatlining and what are you doing? If you're flatlining, well, you're dying. It's over. So why would you ever not want to grow and change and adapt?

And you can do that at any age. It's ridiculous to suggest that people get stuck in their ways., I think that's a little BS you can change. You can absolutely choose a new path at any age. 

[00:09:53] Sherrilynne: Well, I, yes. But and I think this is something that we as Gen Xers have earned the right, because, when we came up, when I was just coming into my career, my mother told me like, you can do anything you want Sherrilynne, just pick it. You, you have choices that I never had, is what she said to me. And she was right. And so, when, the generation above., arrived at middle aged, they had been dedicated being housewives and mothers. Well, certainly in, my family and, and in my realm, I not, I know not every family was the same, but there was a lot of people at that age group that arrived at middle age, their kids had flown the coup they've been married to, they're now married to some, bald, fat guy, that was, may not have been their dream to spend their old age with. And they're kind of stuck at it. So, I, and I think that for Gen X women, we've always made decisions for ourselves.

[00:10:46] Candace: And I think that's an interesting, thing that you said there is your mother would say that to you. And my mother and I think oftentimes we sit there and we. Poo poo the generation ahead of us when we should really be thanking them for paving the way and allowing us to be. When we talked on my show recently, you mentioned that a lot of younger women are listening to your podcast, and I think that is fantastic. Because I want to pave the way for women coming up behind me. I want to share the things I've learned so that they maybe don't have to do those things as well and share my experience, because it's not that I'm smarter, I've just walked through that path, and I can help make things easier for you.

So, I'm all for that because that's, that's what we should be doing. Absolutely. For each generation. 

[00:11:42] Sherrilynne: Yeah, I know for me, I'd never even heard the word peri menopause until I was in it. Well, I was probably past it by the time I even heard of it. I didn't know real, like, I knew things were going on, but I didn't know why.

Now that's totally on the radar of every woman who's in their mid thirties, that they're, they're heading into that, and they know to, what signs to look for and that, I feel like just now, The tide is kind of turning about options for them.

[00:12:08] Candace: Oh, absolutely. The group of girls that I hang out with, like, we have all kinds of nicknames for each other, but one of them is the Meno Posse

So, cause we're all in it and, we never made jokes about that. And honestly when I first hit menopause, I thought, what fresh hell is this? Yeah, I was getting 20 to 30 hot flashes a day and, I'm no in any way I, shaming my mom or anything, but she never talked to me about it.

She never openly discussed her experience with it. So, when I got it, I really was completely unprepared. And when you think about your education in school, there was all kinds of education about getting your period Yes. And moving into adolescence. But when it came to menopause, it was like, oh yeah.

And then one day it'll be over. Yes. It was crazy. We're so uneducated about it. So, I, I think it's wonderful that we're having these conversations so openly. 

[00:13:06] Sherrilynne: Is there any other advice you'd give your 30-year-old self? 

[00:13:11] Candace: Oh gosh. I think don't be so critical. I often see pictures of myself and go, oh my God, I look fat. I have wrinkles, this, that. And I try to, now I look at those pictures and go, what am I going to think about this picture in 20 years?

And in 20 years, I'm going to think that's a great picture. So, I try not, I try to bring that thought back because I look back on pictures in my thirties, pictures I cringed at the time and think, man, I looked great, Yeah. So, I think it's just always just accepting where you're at and going, yeah, I, It's all good.

It's all good. So, I think, that's probably the number one thing is just let the pictures be taken. Don't be too critical on yourself, just, just step into the picture and I mean that, literally and figuratively. 

[00:14:00] Sherrilynne: Yeah, I think it's wise advice, and that is something I'm hearing in the interviews about the women I'm talking to, are wishing that they hadn't been so hard on themselves in many different aspects when they were in their early thirties, but you remind me a couple of years ago, a friend of mine sent me a photo of me at his wedding when I was 30. And I remember that day and I remember that dress and I thought I looked so fat in it. I spent the whole day walking around sucking in my belly as hard as I could, because I didn't want any kind of pot showing in the dress. And now I look at it, I would think, oh my God, I would give my first born to be able to fit into that dress again. 

[00:14:41] Candace: Exactly right. Yeah. And that, but it's funny because like I see some women do it and they start to shrink back and they, become this wallflower in their own life. And damn like you've come this far, you deserve to live loudly and boldly and not shrink into the corners.

If you've come this far, keep going. Get louder, you know? Share your voice. It's so important. 

[00:15:14] Sherrilynne: I feel like we've raised the next generation to, to feel that 

[00:15:17] Candace: way though. I hope so. I hope so. Yeah., gen X parents have, gen Z kids.

And there's a really interesting dynamic happening there between X and Zed. I think, it's interesting to see it play out on social media, how that's happening. 

[00:15:35] Sherrilynne: But some of the younger millennial women that I've worked with over the last couple of years, like they have a, a self-confidence. In their late twenties and thirties that there's no way when I was in that age, there's absolutely no way I would've felt that confident in, in a work environment or have that kind of professional confidence that they have now.

So, I think, oh, I love it. I love it. We've turned the tide on

[00:15:57] Candace: that. Yeah. I see. Like all these young girls and I think, damn, you are so smart. You have got it going on. And I have massive respect for that. Like good for them. you. I'm still figuring this out and they seem to have it all together. But that's not to say that I should be attaching shame to it.

I am, I am the sum of my experiences. So, if it took, no matter how long it takes me to get there, I got there. That's all that really matters. That's right. 

[00:16:25] Sherrilynne: That's right. So, you're here now, what are you doing for fun these 

[00:16:29] Candace: days? well, fixing my house. I don't know if I'd call that fun, but there's a backstory there, but I'm fixing my house, but I'm also just, really falling into a nice rhythm of, I have a partner now who's, who's just perfect, for me and my girlfriends.

There's just been some. Pulling together there of my friends and that's everything. And seeing my daughters starting to heal after, after the divorce, is good. It's just slow, steady growth and movement forward. So yeah, it's all, I'm just in this nice little lull right now, but I also think it's because I know that there's, there's going to be hard times ahead, right? It's just, it's so, it's really just enjoying this time. It's quiet, it's peaceful. I don't need a lot., right now, I'm really happy with this time. And, and it's also, I think that I'm okay knowing that whatever the, whatever's going to get thrown at me in the future, I'm, I'm good.

I feel a lot more resilient and prepared for whatever life might throw at me down the road. 

[00:17:50] Sherrilynne: I think you're right about that. Now, I know last year you joined, dry January with us. A group of us got together online and did dry January and you extended it past January.

Yeah. And so, did you ever go back to drinking the wine or were you doing dry January this year or so? 

[00:18:06] Candace: Actually, I, so I just started again two days ago, I did it for 285 days. Wow. Wow. First time. And, and it's changed my relationship with alcohol. It's given me a lot more awareness about it.

Will I give it up forever? I don't know. But I recognize that it's addictive and that we, we, our generation specifically, has a messed-up relationship with it. Yeah, I agree. And, but that's not just, that's not all our fault. Look at, look at smoking. Look at how many people have lost their lives to cigarettes.

And because we allowed corporations to market it as this cool thing, we have done that with alcohol and I think we're starting to tear that apart, as a society. So yeah, it's, it's a complicated relationship I think our generation has with, with alcohol and it's nice to see it being discussed so openly.

And I love how Brene Brown, talks a lot about not attaching shame to things. And when I talk, when I think about my girlfriends and my, my girl group that I hang out with, I love that about this group is that when we get together, we unpack a lot when we're together but there's no judgment and there's no shame.

And we've all really come to a place in our lives where you can say anything in that group, and we are going to hold it. We're not going to go out and spread it all over the place. And we're not going to judge you. And I love that. I really do. And so, it's the same with drinking, talking about it openly, not attaching shame to it, just recognizing that yeah, it can be an issue and we have to talk about it openly in order to get past it.

Otherwise, people just hide in the corners with it. I think you're right 

[00:19:59] Sherrilynne: about it being very, very complicated though, like I think that it's going to be harder to wean society off alcohol than it was cigarettes. Although, oh, for sure. I mean, cigarettes are still a thing. Cigarettes are still a thing, don't get me wrong.

I'm not saying that nobody smokes anymore, but it's not what it once was in our, in our parents' generation. But I, I feel like that the government is addicted to alcohol because, oh, it makes tax dollars come on. It makes so much money out of it. And, and out of distribution as well. The L C B O is the largest purchaser of alcohol in the world. 

Yeah. I'm hopeful though, that we'll conquer these things. What are you hopeful about?

[00:20:40] Candace: I feel, I don't know why, but I feel there's been a small shift in the collective consciousness right now is that we're tired. We're tired of the lies, we're tired of the bullshit and that we've all been subjected to, like, everybody has been subjected to this and I think we're not putting up with.

Anymore, perfect example would be all these trolls online. There was a time when everybody was just fighting back and arguing with these people. I think we've all come to this place of quiet acceptance. Now it's just block them and move on. Don't give them any oxygen. Just, just move on because there are far more normal, nice people on this earth than not.

And, but the ones that are not. Have been sucking up too much of our time and too much of our energy and we're just done. I think we're just done. And so, I'm hopeful that we're moving past that sort of era of the liars and the cheats and the gas lighters who are, sucking us all dry. I agree.

[00:21:48] Sherrilynne: Yeah. I really feel like we're taking back our social media channels. You and I are both early adopters. Like we remember the early days of Twitter. And it was a fantastic place to be. It was wonderful. I made friends all over the world that I still absolutely friends today and, I went away from Twitter and almost entirely there for, a couple of years, but I'm back now.

I feel like we have to take some responsibility in, in making it a better place. So, I want to participate in it and, and help. I, I don't know what Elon's going to do. Who knows? I don't think Elon knows what he's going to do. 

[00:22:23] Candace: No, no. And, and I've, I've struggled with that too because I thought, ah, I'll just walk.

But if I walked and it just, they win. Yeah. And I don't, I don't want that. And. And I'm not, I'm not going, this is not a left right conversation. This is a nice asshole conversation. Right? Like, like honestly, like there's why did, how did people become so uncaring, so cold? If we don't look out for each other, what's, what's the point of all of this?

Right? Yeah. Like again, I don't know. I feel there's a small shift happening, and I hope it gains momentum in 2023. So that's what I'm hopeful about, is that there's going to be a shift in 

[00:23:13] Sherrilynne: that space. Well, dear listeners, let me pledge to you now that I am committed for this year to help make Twitter a better place.

Because I'm actually afraid it's going to go away, and my life would be poorer without it. I really want, I don't think we should throw out the baby with the bath water on this. We, we just need to fix it. Not, not dump it. 

What are you reading? What are you watching? What are you binging? 

[00:23:36] Candace: Okay, so first thing is I have to tell everybody about this book, how to Calm Yourself. By Chris Bailey, Canadian guy, lives in Ottawa. I was sent this book, to preview and I just, I'm obsessed with it, and it's actually really helped me because we are living in anxious times and so I would highly recommend, I think it's a guidebook for 2023, how To Calm Your Mind by Chris Bailey.

Please go out and get it what I'm binge watching. I am on a cowboy bender right now, so I West 18 83, 19 23, and Yellowstone. Oh my, I just want to throw on cowboy boots and go wrangle a cow. Now. So, I need to get myself to a ranch. I'm just, I'm obsessed with that show. It's like the mob, the mob meets cowboys.

It's just, it's very, very entertaining. Yeah, 

[00:24:29] Sherrilynne: picked up quite a few gongs at the Golden Globes over 

[00:24:32] Candace: the weekend. Yeah, it's interesting. I mean, it's violent and dark or whatever, but it’s, it's been entertaining 

[00:24:38] Sherrilynne: where, what are you doing in terms of supporting charities and good causes and community causes these days? 

[00:24:45] Candace: I would honestly say through my show, everything about what she said is about creating a safe space for women to share stories.

To share information. I don't have any gotcha moments. I'm not looking to be confrontational on my show. It's a nice space. Do my very best to highlight social justice issues and to give them top priority on my show because I think we have to be talking about these things a lot more and informing people.

And we're living in this time where we have this, this chaos politics happening, right? Where you're always playing whack-a-mole with what's the next issue and what are we dealing with today? And so, I think by just bringing in these voices, Highlighting them so that people just know more. So, we're always just informed, and we know what's happening.

So that for me is a big focus for what she said is just to always be looking at making the world a better place for all. 

[00:25:48] Sherrilynne: Well, it's not a small cause, is it?

[00:25:51] Candace: It's not. It's not. And it's really a labor of love. Absolutely. A labor of love. 

[00:25:59] Sherrilynne: Well, I mean, and you do it so well I can't believe we're having these conversations and it's 2023. That, that we still have to advocate so hard for even the most basic of considerations that we've are half of humanity. But here we are, and I'm, and thank you very much for, for taking up the cause and, and fighting that fight for us every single week.

Well, I 

[00:26:22] Candace: get tired because, I see like younger girls going, I don't need feminism. And I think, oh honey, 

[00:26:28] Sherrilynne: you don't need it because we're here. We got your back, girl. Yeah, 

[00:26:31] Candace: you do need it. You do. And, and I don't know where and why feminism became a bad F word. It's, it's one of my favorite fwords right after.

I love feminism. 

[00:26:45] Sherrilynne: You need to make a bumper sticker. 

[00:26:48] Candace: my favorite F words in order of importance. Free feminism. And I can't say the next one, but I want to. I don't understand. People think it's not a good thing when it's, I mean, if we look at what its very definition is, it's, it's a very good thing.

We need to 

[00:27:06] Sherrilynne: shore each other up because together, yeah, together we're stronger. 

What's an app you couldn't live without? Ooh, 

[00:27:16] Candace: I'm going to say TikTok right now. 

[00:27:18] Sherrilynne: Oh, I love TikTok too. 

[00:27:20] Candace: so freaking addictive. It's crazy. But it's one of those like blessing curse things I have learned a lot from TikTok. I mean, just hacks and things that I, I'm like, wow, I didn't know you could do that.

And I have so many freaking TikTok saved right now. And I think, well, I'm never going back to these. Why am I saving these? But I, I kind of, I just like the space as, and I will say on the flip side, I've been subjected to some hate on that app and some terrible things said.

, so, it's a dangerous place as, as well, I don't know. I have a, this love hate relationship with it.

[00:28:02] Sherrilynne: Yes. Well, I think I've been luckier than you. Oh, it's probably because I don't have as many followers as you, but, for me, TikTok is just, it reminds me of the early days of Twitter. Yeah. It's like people together having fun and being silly and sharing and, and what you say is true. There's like, you could find out anything in the world.

It's like a better than a university education. I think spending time on TikTok, you can find out. Oh wow. 

[00:28:25] Candace: Yeah. I can't even tell you the things I've learned there. Like it. It's crazy and fun. And I feel like I, it's a place I could build community and I'm trying to do that.

[00:28:37] Sherrilynne: Yeah. It's more entertaining than any other social network has ever been in my, in my view, because it's the video format and it is just, It's just people being 

[00:28:47] Candace: silly.

Do you have a life hack that you would recommend? 

 

[00:28:50] Candace: I've really been diligent about leave my phone out of the bedroom at night.

It shuts down at nine o'clock at night. And, in the morning I wake up now and I have this nice little, like three-hour window where I do not look at my phone or my computer. Oh, yeah. And it helps me, it helps set the stage for my day because I'm not immediately into anxiety and, and I don't think we realize how much chronic stress these apps or the 24-hour news cycle actually brings into our life, and we have enough stress, frankly, we don't need to be inviting anymore in. So, I've, I’ve, that space to me has become sacred. Now in the morning is not looking at that and not paying attention to it. So, what do you do 

[00:29:43] Sherrilynne: during this time if it's not, if it doesn't have a screen in it, I can't imagine it.

Yeah, I 

[00:29:48] Candace: know. It's weird, right? So, reading, which is like so throwback and, I, I've, I've really jumped back into reading. I do use it for the Calm app, which I think everybody should have on their phone. I think that's money well spent. So, I do meditate. Now in the mornings, I get my laundry done, I work out, I cook, I whatever.

But it's just, it's me time.. It's just without the ever presence of a, of a screen in my face. And, because we spend on average 13 hours a day in front of a. And 

[00:30:23] Sherrilynne: the rest, I would say, in my case,

[00:30:26] Candace: it's like, it's nuts, right? It's nuts and I don't want that. So, I am trying to shift, again, I can't take credit for these ideas because it's, it's, it's in the book, but.

Is to shift as much of my life out of digital into analog. So, I went back to like a paper calendar this year. I still use my computer calendar because I need to for setting meetings and stuff, but when I want to sit down and plan, I have my paper calendar planner in front of me and so just shifting as much as I can from digital to analog is, is crucial.

[00:31:03] Sherrilynne: That's fantastic 

[00:31:04] Candace: life. Yeah, and I think, I think more and more of us should be embracing it because, there's no, there's no firm ground in the metaverse, right? And so, I do a lot of what I call gratitude grounding now, and you. I'm so good at it now, and I don't even mean to say this like boasting, but damn I'm good at gratitude. Because the other night was going to bed and I literally walked from my bathroom to my bed, and in that small space I, in my head, I was rhyming off things that I was so grateful for, and I could have just as easily named things that were angering me, you know? But just really embracing those things makes life so much better. 

[00:31:47] Sherrilynne: That's it for episode 16, this has been 50 women over 50 a podcast for women whose personal confidence is born of experience. I want to thank my guest radio and TV personality, Candace Samson, who is the host of the, what she said, talk radio show and podcast for women. It's a must listen to show for Canadian women of all ages and goes out each week on 1 0 5 0.9, the region. Blast the radio.com and the wave web radio.ca. I like her because she's not afraid to tackle sticky issues. And I love the energy and sets of fun that she brings to everything she talks about. I came away from our discussion with a smile and a sense of calm optimism. Thank you, Candace. 

See the show notes to find out where you can listen to her program and connect with her online. I've included links to our website and socials along with one, some of the stories and other resources we talked about on the show. Join me again next week when my guest will be former police officer Gretta McClain. 

She's the executive director of silent no longer Tennessee., that's a grassroots organization for sexual assault victims that she founded after she was herself raped in 2017. She shares with us, her journey from victim to activist and how it's led her to become a strong and confident over 50 woman.